Learning to let go…

It’s been quite a while since my last post, more than a year I’m sure. A lot of water has passed under the bridge.  I have a shiny new MEd degree hanging proudly on my office wall. Whenever I feel tired or low, I look over my right shoulder and admire the fact that , yes, I did it. I actually put in the work and accomplished something I could be proud of. For me, that was a big event. Many times in the past I’ve started things only to lose steam and give up when the going gets tough. This time it was different and I’m glad I stuck it out. Then last summer, my adult son and I had an argument and he moved out. My wife and I both knew it was time for him to take charge of his life, go back to school or get a job. After he left it was awfully quite in our big house. But in hindsight it was the best thing for him and for us. He’s got a job, moved in with his girlfriend whom he adores and has become a much nicer guy. I’d really wish he would go back to school and get a degree, but that’s his choice, not mine. I guess I’ve got to learn to let go too. And now, just this past Christmas, my dear mum suddenly passed away. It’s something many of us aging boomers are dealing with. It’s still fresh in my mind and I haven’t completely dealt with all the emotions yet. Aside from losing our pets to various diseases over the years, losing a parent is new to me. My wife Jackie keeps telling me I’ve been lucky to have had my parents for so long. She lost her mother to a massive heart attack when she was only 21. But she too had to eventually let go and get on with living. Memories make up how we feel about the people we loved. When my sister and I were kids in the late fifties and early sixties, my dad was constantly shoving  a movie camera in our faces. No matter where we went or what we did, out came the camera. “I’m recording it for posterity” he’d say or, another favourite expression,  “One day you’ll thank me for it.”  Back when I was younger, I would never have believed it, but that day has arrived. My dad left me with a treasure trove of home movies. So I started going through them looking for a way to find closure, a way to let mum go in love and peace. I think that maybe by telling her story I can finally say goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

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About M. Behrend

As a kid growing up in the sixties I had an overactive imagination. As an adult I realized that sometimes the truth can be more amazing than fiction. Everybody has at least one good story to tell.

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